Irresistable urge

I've done something potentially really stupid yesterday... I send Emiel a message stating I love him so much and how much I miss him. You'd think I'd be over that phase, don't you? Well guess again. Anyway, the stupid part of course is not the fact that it's true, but the fact that I send this message. I know that it's no use at all as far as getting back together is the goal, so why even bother and make a fool out of myself? I don't know. The fact of the matter is, I just had the irresistable urge to let him know how I feel about him, even though I knew it was a bad idea while I was writing it. Still, I send the message, and there's nothing I can do about it anymore.

I've no idea if he recieved it yet, so I'm a bit scared of my computer right now. I don't know if I want a message back. It may be too confronting to actually see it again on the screen that he definitely doesn't want to get back together. Then again, I have nothing to say about it anymore, so if he does write me back, I'm going to have to read it anyhow. I'll let you know how it went.