Drink the pain away

In total compliance with how I'm feeling lately, I got fully loaded yesterday and drank more booze than I guess I ever did before. I remember everything up until a certain point, after which it was a blur, except for the fact that I was crying like a baby. I don't know, I guess I made a complete fool of myself, but I really do think I needed this. Drink the pain away they call it, but of course it doesn't help whatsoever, so now I'm feeling just as miserable as I did since the beginning of all this shit.

I just miss E. so much, I can't handle it anymore. As I wrote before, this is the first weekend without him, and I don't have a clue how to handle it. All I can think of is how much I want to be with him, how much I love him and how much I miss him. There's nothing in this world I want more than just getting back together, even though I know it's just a futile thought.