I'm done with it

To me it's just amazing and totally unexpected: I haven't been sad for not even a minute since my ex boyfriend and I vowed to never want to see each other again. I really thought I'd be devestated, but no such bad-luck whatsoever. In fact, I think I can finally make my peace with all the shit that's happened, since now I'm actually not the victim here, but the one (well, I know he's pissed off as well) who's angry.

It feels really weird. I had so many hopes when we started off our renewed contact, and during it, I really wanted it all to work out, but I think all that's happened during those infamous three weeks, especially the last night, has kicked some sense into me. I realise now so much that even though I think I will love him one way or another for the rest of my life, we just wouldn't work out together, and I suppose I'm fine with it.

I can still very much think back of all the good days we've had, but I can now finally also think back of all the bad things happening between us, without feeling this terrible need to tell myself they weren't so bad. The fact is: they were. We've had great times, but we've also suffered extremely bad times, in which I just couldn't understand where he was coming from, and couldn't imagine why in the world we were having problems.

Now, I think it's irrelevant. We've had our share, and it's okay. I'm done with it.