Stress can get to you

Sometimes things really start to get with you when you're stressful, even though they say one should keep himself busy to keep one's mind of things. I had one of those experiences today big time. I was so incredibly busy at work, and everything worked out just the way I planned it to, and I was so eager to call Emiel to tell him about it, like I used to, but I knew I couldn't. I don't think I've ever had one of those experiences before, and I was devastated, just devastated.

You know, I'm doing so well with everything, and really, I do believe I can get through this without all the shit that came along after my breakup with Roel. And then once in a while there comes this moment I just don't know what to do, and I feel completely numb.Usually this only happens when I'm alone at home, in my bed typically, but today... I just went to the bathroom for a while and just sort of cried it all out. I just couldn't take it anymore. I mean, I was so proud of myself and I just had no-one to really share it with, can you imagine how fucked up you feel when you realise a thing like that?

Tomorrow's Friday and I just can imagine all of this getting worse, but I suppose I shouldn't be thinking about it so much, as it may trigger a sentimental feeling I didn't even have before. Is it so stupid to still be feeling this way? I just don't know, and seeing that I can't really help myslf, I don't give a fuck either.