I just don't give a fuck anymore

Yesterday evening I called E. up to ask him how it's going. I hadn't talked to him in a week so I figured it would be nice just to check things out. We didn't have a very long conversation, and quite frankly, on my part we didn't need to. It was just basically exchanging some (sincere or not, I don't know) inquiries and that was about it. I guess it didn't take us more than three minutes.

Before I called him, I feared it might make me sad again, but quite surprisingly it didn't. It actually felt quite good to realise that I'm not the one having all these problems, but he is. I mean, sure, at first I felt pretty lousy about us breaking up, but time really does heal pretty easy, and now I don't really give a fuck anymore for the most part. It's only very rarely at night that I feel just a bit sad, but that's about it. He on the other hand is having so much stuff on his mind, that I should be basically grateful not to be involved in all that anymore.

So, weird as it may sound, I'm pretty much quite relieved not to be part of all thee problems and the depressions anymore, and I just learned that I can move on pretty easy, much different than from my last long relationship, where I spend an enourmous amount of time recovering. I was so fucking afraid that all that would happen again this time round, but it miraculously didn't.

So, maybe I'll call him again in a week, maybe I don't. Frankly my dear, I just don't give a fuck anymore.