Peacekeeper

In an effort to try and sorta normalise the relationship between me and my ex-boyfriend, I decided last Monday to send him an invitation to my birthday party next week. Then after that, I realised that the invitation was a pretty standard one, making it look as if I picked his e-mail adress by accident, especially since I know another guy with the same first name, who I'm inviting too, so it might seem as if I mixed up the two receipiants.

So, what I did was, I send him an e-mail again yesterday, to explain why he got invited, and expressing again the hope that he might show up. I'm not actually expecting him to show up you know, I mean after four years of practically Cold War, what can I expect? What I am hoping for, is that maybe this act could make a point, you know, that we've been avoiding slash ignoring each other for long enough now.

I have no idea whatsoever if and how this message will come across, but as one of my co-workers said to me, I don't really have anything to lose. When you want to receive appreciation, you need to give appreciation, so I guess this can be considered a step in the right direction, no matter what the outcome is.

In fact, the outcome might very well be him deleting the message before even reading it, or right after he read it, without any response. Even so, then I know I've done my part. I don't want to blame myself anymore for everything that happened, it's just been too long ago. There's no use in regretting stuff you can't change anymore, but you can try and set the record straight, if anything for your own peace of mind. Well, that's what I've done now. I really hope this will lead to a stand off, but if not, then that's just too bad. At least I've done my part.